Last night I was sitting, innocently working on my computer in the living room while the rest of the household was asleep and I kept hearing this "schck, schck" sound. I couldn't figure out what it was, but it seemed like it was happening at regular intervals of about 10 minutes. My best description was that it sounded almost like a cricket. I started watching the clock and went and stood in the family room when I thought it was going to make the sound. I had to wait a bit but then realized it wasn't coming from there, it was in the kitchen area. 10 minutes later I was standing by the island waiting and I heard it near the door and/or table. So, thinking it was coming from the timer light switch (the one that controls the lights on the porch), I stood right by it for the next interval. It happened again and I realized it was not from the timer, but it was coming from up above me in that same area. I thought the window must be slightly ajar and I was indeed hearing a bug from outside, so I lifted the blinds and seeing that the window was not ajar, I looked up. At the top of the window casing was the biggest cricket I have ever seen!! He was three inches long at least. This is not him, but the closest picture I could find:

Now, you have to understand, that I HATE grasshoppers/crickets (not a little dislike kind of hate, but a VEHEMENT, NOT-FUNNY, GET-AWAY-FROM-ME kind of hate). I cannot even write about this without squirming. It's a good thing that he decided to stay put because if he had jumped, the entire neighborhood would have known it. So, I had a dilemma -- what to do about him? Believe it or not, it took a while, but I actually convinced myself that he would not go upstairs with me and probably wouldn't venture very far from the window so I had to just leave him. He was too big for me to squish without having him jump and I couldn't risk having him do anything like that. So, I closed the blinds and prayed that a cover of small plastic blinds would keep the vermin somewhat caged so he could be dealt with in the morning. Morning comes and, not wanting to open the blinds and risk a leaping lizard, I stepped outside to see where the caged intruder was and he was not there! Yikes! I told Lacey about him and asked her to keep an eye out (she loves grasshoppers). Luckily, Seth found him lurking above the kitchen window. Lacey crawled up and got him and then took him outside. I told her the porch was not good enough, he needed to be much further away from me, so she took him towards the tall grass by the pasture. She played with him a while, letting him crawl on her, **glaaaagh** and then carefully, lovingly, set him in the grass. Where.........Lily, watching this whole ordeal, promptly went over and ate him. = O Lacey was mortified! She came in a told me what had happened and even though I was slightly grossed out watching Lily smacking her lips, I was secretly relieved. One less disgusting, spiny trespasser. I don't know what good things grasshoppers/crickets might do in this world, but Lily and I have a message -- NOT IN MY HOUSE!